So today is the 5 year mark in our journey together. We sure have had some ups and downs.
On our special day today, I wanted to treat you really well. So I woke up with a great fasting blood sugar and ate an almost no carb breakfast (though it wasn’t all that tasty)– I just wanted to make sure that we would both be in the mood to celebrate. Then you decided to pull one of your usual tricks: the unexplainable high that just won’t come down. I’ve seen it before, but why today???
Recently, I started to feel that I can 100% accept and control you, that life with you is not so bad… and maybe it’s not.
But there are days where I do everything that I can to treat you right and you don’t seem to care– you decide that the insulin you got just wasn’t enough (despite accurate basal rates, carb ratios, corrections factors, and carb counting that I determined based on your earlier complaints). And I start to wonder if all the effort is worth it…
So we decided to go out to dinner tonight to celebrate our five years of life together. I decided that I would celebrate with a high carb meal and some genuine “carb guessing” and ad hoc bolusing. And I did.
How did you thank me? With a blood sugar of 101 🙂 You knew just what I needed to end the anniversary right. Thank you for giving me the “night off” and allowing me to enjoy a nice meal out while you stayed on your BEST behavior.
I wanted to write this letter on a purely positive note about the struggles that we overcame and how we are ready for whatever may come. But today didn’t feel that way. No, today was more real. Today was a day to recognize that our relationship for the past five years has been full of ups and downs, just like today was up and down. And the coming days, weeks, months, and years will be full of ups and downs.
But the point is that we keep on keeping on because that’s what we do.
Sometimes you don’t cooperate with me; sometimes I don’t take care of you. But then there’s always a new day, a new inspiration. So far there have been just enough– I hope that there will continue to always be enough new days, new inspirations, and new reasons to keep on…